This post has been hard to write and it feels necessary to share, because we have endured a significant loss. For me part of moving forward is recognizing that loss. Just one of the many steps, the baby steps, towards healing.
This Saturday Wesley and I went through my Mom’s closets. I woke up Sunday morning and went to put on one of her favorite “cozy” sweatshirts. I smelled it first to see if there were any remnants of her left in the material and I burst into tears finding her familiar smells still lingering in the sweatshirt. It is funny how a smell in a piece of clothing both makes her seem close and far away at the same time. I miss her.
I could tell you about some incredible experiences I have had since her death and because of her life. Some of you would smile kindly in disbelief while others eyes would fill with tears knowing that miracles exist. My truth is that my mom gave me the gift of witnessing what true strength is. In my experience miracles and will power are one in the same. I am filled with gratitude for every moment my mom fought for so that we could be together on this earth longer. I am glad we had that time to say goodbye and I am so proud of her for letting go, but dammit I miss her. Below are some of my favorite photos of her.
I love you forever Mom.
-Kyla
Born 8 weeks early in June 18, 1955 in Hong Kong
My favorite photo of my Mom and Dad
My Mom with her Dad.
Wesley and Mom
Wesley, Aunt Debbie, Grams Sue, Kyla, Mom (Judi) and Hank
Me Familia
Gramps, Baby Kyla, Mom
Loving on newborn baby Asher.
A dog lover
Practicing scarf tying before she started chemo
Braving the storm
Visiting her first grand-baby Odin for the first time.
Wesley’s wedding day only a 6 weeks after she had been released from the ICU at University hospital in Denver
Maybe her favorite lot in life: Grand-baby in lap
The dinosaur train
Leaving for the first time after a bone marrow transplant and a 6 week stay at University Hospital in Denver
Giving love to grand-baby #2
Celebrating Wesley’s 30th Birthday in La Plata Canyon.
Happy Mama with baby Kyla. 
Some Mama love for Wes
Dad and Mom, Mom and Dad
Dancing with my Dad at her Mom and Dad’s 50th wedding anniversary
Their wedding day
Dad and Mom with baby Wesley
A traditional living room family dance party during a visit to New Zealand 2002
teaching, always teaching
Preggers with Kyla
Preggers with Wesley
My Grams and her three children left to right Debbie, Judi (my Mom) and Chapin
with buddy Loretta
Horse whisperer
Soaking up sun in Panama
Sisters
Friends
From Joy all things are born. By joy they are sustained and into joy they again return.
~The Upanshads
Love. Love you. Love her. Makes my heart happy and sad at the same time. Missing her and sending healing love to you all! -Nasha
Dear Kyla: Such a beautiful Tribute to your Mom.(Happily, Cedar sent it to me) Thanks to all your family, With Love Bernie
I love this so much! Thank you for sharing! ❤️
Ahhh. Memories. I have never seen the photo of her eyes wide open and Jim with something swirling in his mouth. Looks like a warning from her that he’d better not spit out whatever is in there. lol. Love you girls.
I first met your beautiful mother in Cooper Hall up on campus. I can still see her vibrant beautiful face with her crisp blue eyes. Her blonde hair was shoulder length and it bounced around her kind smile and face. She had bell bottom jeans on with a red top. She looked so good in red that it made us all want to wear it. There was not anything that she could not do and do it well. She swooshed down a mountain like everyone wished they could. It was a special time in Durango and Judy is special to everyone that had the privilege of meeting her. I am so sorry for your loss. I know you will miss her forever. Mary Christiansen Kims sister